cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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