I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
