Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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