i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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