what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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