I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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