His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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