Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
