He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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