Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
