do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
