His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
