Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
