Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
