It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
