as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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