Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
