You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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