a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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