if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
