she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
