We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
