I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
