The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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