I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize