please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
