Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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