this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize