Soap is not a condiment
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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