Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
