Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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