Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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