I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
