Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
