there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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