and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
