You really coming over, don't trick.
Nicole vs. Life
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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