hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
