you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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