he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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