The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
