Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize