1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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