you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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