Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You ruined the universe
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
