are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
