At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
