Kareoke will never be a sober sport
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
