Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
