he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
