So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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