I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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