when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm sobbing to NWA
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
