He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
