dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
