It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
