we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
