he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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