why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
